This is another of my old blog posts, written and posted originally on 12/25, 2010 after working a day shift at 24 hour convenience store. It's done in the style of my "Ways to show... that you are an idiot" posts. The guy was there during my last hour. His behavior was offensive, and made me feel righteously indignant and angry. I didn't let him ruin my day... just used his rude attitude as fodder for the blog. Initially, this was posted just for my friends. I have made the decision to not clean it up for this venue on the basis that, altered from its raw form, it's not the same rant.
Just a quick reminder to those buying beer for Christmas:
If the cashier IDs you for your beer, be sure and get really mad, throw an exaggerated temper tantrum, call her a liar, and cuss her out, because you are King Shit from the Planet Yer Anus, and we all know you have to do at least one thing every day that your mother would be ashamed of, or you won't be able to maintain that status.
Do not let the fact that this person is working on Christmas deter you from displaying a disgusting lack of human intelligence
Certainly, on a day like today, you don't owe peons such as the cashier any sympathy, understanding, or anything remotely related to holiday spirit.
You know very well that people who work on Christmas are godless, soulless heathens who choose to get up before 4:00 in the morning and spend the day behind a cash register waiting on assholes like you, instead of sleeping in and staying at home with our families, because the day and the fellowship are meaningless to us. We're giving up nothing to stand there and take your abuse. In fact, that's the real reason why we're here today: We just can't get enough of your attitude!
You know it's not the money, because we cashiers make so much money the rest of the time that we don't need holiday pay.
We just do this for fun. Well, that and the obscene vocabulary lesson. Thanks to you, we're now fluent in Sailor Speak. We're thinking of taking up a new career in high-seas pirating.
Now take your 24 pack of Generic Cheapskate Drunk's Choice Light, haul your rude, ignorant, self-important, too-flabby-to-be-helped-by-diet-beer ass back to the idiot asylum, and stay there, because people like you really shouldn't be out in public inflicting your stench and stupidity upon ordinary folks.
Thank you, come again... and have a Merry Friggin' Christmas!
If the cashier IDs you for your beer, be sure and get really mad, throw an exaggerated temper tantrum, call her a liar, and cuss her out, because you are King Shit from the Planet Yer Anus, and we all know you have to do at least one thing every day that your mother would be ashamed of, or you won't be able to maintain that status.
Do not let the fact that this person is working on Christmas deter you from displaying a disgusting lack of human intelligence
Certainly, on a day like today, you don't owe peons such as the cashier any sympathy, understanding, or anything remotely related to holiday spirit.
You know very well that people who work on Christmas are godless, soulless heathens who choose to get up before 4:00 in the morning and spend the day behind a cash register waiting on assholes like you, instead of sleeping in and staying at home with our families, because the day and the fellowship are meaningless to us. We're giving up nothing to stand there and take your abuse. In fact, that's the real reason why we're here today: We just can't get enough of your attitude!
You know it's not the money, because we cashiers make so much money the rest of the time that we don't need holiday pay.
We just do this for fun. Well, that and the obscene vocabulary lesson. Thanks to you, we're now fluent in Sailor Speak. We're thinking of taking up a new career in high-seas pirating.
Now take your 24 pack of Generic Cheapskate Drunk's Choice Light, haul your rude, ignorant, self-important, too-flabby-to-be-helped-by-diet-beer ass back to the idiot asylum, and stay there, because people like you really shouldn't be out in public inflicting your stench and stupidity upon ordinary folks.
Thank you, come again... and have a Merry Friggin' Christmas!
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