From one of my older blogs:
Either someone at my job’s corporate level is completely naive (and lousy at using
punctuation), or they got a real kick out of sending my store a memo (via email) stating the importance of having the ass mgr do the shift anal by (I can’t remember what time...)
We all decided that there could be no one better qualified to do the shift anal than the ass manager...
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Friday, July 22, 2011
Just wondering
How in the heck does anyone make it all the way into adulthood, much less into a store management position, without learning the following things?
1) Do not stack big, awkward, heavy objects on top of smaller, more fragile objects.
2) A tall, skinny, unevenly positioned stack is much more likely to fall over than a short fat neatly made stack.
3) A broken cardboard box isn't strong enough to hold its shape, especially under the strain of 150 pounds of weight.
4) Saying something over and over doesn't make it true.
5) Preventing something from being said doesn't make it not true.
6) A wet floor is still wet and slippery even after you put up a sign.
7) Chocolate melts when it gets hot. Pretzels don't. Therefore, it should be easy to decide which items get placed in the room where the temperature gets up over 90 degrees every day.
8) If there's a label on it that says "CAUTION, HOT!" you really shouldn't put your fingers on it. It might be hot.
9) Heavy stuff stacked in front of a freezer door will get in the way of opening the door and getting into the freezer.
10) Everyone around you can hear your end of your cell phone conversation.
11) Gravity never stops working.
12) If you watch a co-worker touch something, and it electrocutes him, that is evidence that the object will also electrocute you if you touch it.
13) Flammable substances will catch fire when directly exposed to an open flame, even if that is not what you were trying to do.
1) Do not stack big, awkward, heavy objects on top of smaller, more fragile objects.
2) A tall, skinny, unevenly positioned stack is much more likely to fall over than a short fat neatly made stack.
3) A broken cardboard box isn't strong enough to hold its shape, especially under the strain of 150 pounds of weight.
4) Saying something over and over doesn't make it true.
5) Preventing something from being said doesn't make it not true.
6) A wet floor is still wet and slippery even after you put up a sign.
7) Chocolate melts when it gets hot. Pretzels don't. Therefore, it should be easy to decide which items get placed in the room where the temperature gets up over 90 degrees every day.
8) If there's a label on it that says "CAUTION, HOT!" you really shouldn't put your fingers on it. It might be hot.
9) Heavy stuff stacked in front of a freezer door will get in the way of opening the door and getting into the freezer.
10) Everyone around you can hear your end of your cell phone conversation.
11) Gravity never stops working.
12) If you watch a co-worker touch something, and it electrocutes him, that is evidence that the object will also electrocute you if you touch it.
13) Flammable substances will catch fire when directly exposed to an open flame, even if that is not what you were trying to do.
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